well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i came on her dog
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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