Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
