her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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