she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My breasts were aching with rage.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
