so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
