Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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