I CAN MOONWALK!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
