please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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