Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
fuck your aforementioned shoe
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
