i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
