is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
