I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
then he tried to convert me to islam
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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