Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
