I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
