Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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