Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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