You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
