i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
