I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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