OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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