the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
His nipple licking is glorious
Come on in and take your pants off
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