My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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