whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
