you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize