Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize