so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
