Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
