how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
