I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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