I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
