thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize