So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
