through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
