I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
