and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
