I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wannas sexs uuuuu
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
