If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
