Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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