one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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