so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
