C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
