How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
