my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize