just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
be right there i have to get my cape
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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