he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
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she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
did you just send me my own nude
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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