It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
