Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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