Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
