did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize