You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
