Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
