if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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