apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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