u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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