I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
