Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We just shotgunned beers for America
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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