Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
