In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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