i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize