If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
