I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
