About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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