she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
