Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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